The Hourly WHY __Episode 03

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The Hourly WHY __Episode 03

Bin O' Time 22

By Jeff Worman

Let me just say this. It’s safer to use teleportation- accelerator, jump technology if you will, than it is, say, to cross the street. Statistically, we have had less in the way of accidental deathing with the emerging technologies than the more conventional means of travel: wheeled, jet and/or rocketplane. Next question please.”

No one complained when the Langerthal twins, Debbie and Delores decided to do without the 8:48 to Deerwood. Someone would take their seats. Take their places gladly. Take their 8:48 to Deerwood.

Traffic is heavy.

Traffic is heaving.

On the central one of three monorails, suspended between the off ramp at I-1257 (to the NE Suburbs,) and the service entrance, for the East Bound Accelerator, ArthurLuchessi, Mr.Lintler from Accounting and Vince Membritch watched the traffic drip below. Drip, slide and sizzle. Debbie and DeloresLangerthal would be in any one of a dozen mini-BUVs. Sport Utility giving way to the strictly Business Utility, vehicles with a microwave, Starbucks on Demand, and three or four lines. Auto-pilot, of course, if service is available in your area. Theirs would be the one with the moon roof. Open to the world. Their hairs blowing out the top.

A couple of the boys from Maintenance rode in the Twins place on the 8:48. The 8:48 to Deerwood. DeanWendler and his nephew Don. It would be right about now when the cart rolled by selling peanuts, chewing wax and oxygen. Don got a bag of chewing wax.

“I love this crap,” Don said, choking.

Dean had a migraine, so he got a little oxygen. A little something until he could plug himself back into the wall once he got to Deerwood.

VinceMembritch excused himself to the blackjack table, grabbing some peanuts.

It would be about this time that traffic on the expressway would trickle to a crawl. Right around Real Big Mall, near Towerdale, and the Three Sheets “Not Bad America” amusement park. The Langerthal twins didn’t care. With the BUV on auto-pilot and a DVD in the dash, they may as well have been back at work, for all they cared.

Overhead, jets carved a wandering pattern of plaid and pixilated white comp trails against the maelstrom of a gray blue sky. Quitting Time. On a clear day you could see The Cities from here. Today you couldn’t tell – the outlines of buildings, angry clouds - or a swarm of insects.

One vaporous swatch passed between the main signal, back-up, aux. and back-up to the back-up; the Langerthal Twins would have wished they were on the 8:48 or at least had their hands on the wheel. Auto-pilot left the road and left them sailing into the East Bound Accelerator. Detroit. A long way from Deerwood.

Could have been a lot worse.

* * *

“What are we doing for the victims and their families? Well, we’ve created holograms, where we could, for the time being, and programmed them with inane dialogue and planned responses so that they can at least return to the work force and provide for their families and pay taxes.”

“Do you hope to find them?,” Katie Crackler from Good Morning Sector 7 wheezed from the press core.

“We’ll see what we can do,” the Combined Governments spokesman answered, walking through the podium and into night.

Time sharing has worked for resolving the Israeli Palestinian issue, allowing both to occupy the same lands on alternate dimensional planes. Each in their own separate universe. It could be said that they were each in their own separate universe anyway.

“My own private universe,” Delores Langerthal dreamed.

“Let’s just see how we’re going to get back to Deerwood, her sister quipped in return.

Mr.Lintler began rubbing his hands involuntarily and quietly muttered under his larynx a garbled "Goody."

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